The Name Story

I'll be honest, I often hesitate when I'm asked if we already have a name for our son (due to make his grand entrance in early January 2013).  Naturally, we've chosen a name that we like, one that will fit well with Margo's, and one that's timeless enough to work when he's 1, yet also when he's 100.  All of that makes perfectly good sense to me (and probably to you, too), but there's a back story to the name that's awaiting our little bun in the oven, and honestly, I don't know that many are interested in the backstory, especially when we're waiting for one's name to be called in the doctor's office waiting room or whizzing through the check-out line at Wal-Mart.  But unless someone's holding you at gunpoint to read this blog, I'll assume you're here by your own choosing.  So here's the name story...

As some of you also know, minor complications early on in my pregnancy allowed us the opportunity to get a few sneak peaks of our baby before the standard, 20-week ultrasound.  And much to my delight, it didn't take much cajoling and bribing on my part to persuade the technician to study the "parts"that would reveal gender.  Some of you scoff and roll your eyes at my impatience (and a part of me is a tad envious that I lack the self control to wait it out for all the hoopla and grandiosity of the big day), but what can I say--I'm a planner, and a baby seems like the happiest sort of thing to plan for!  That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it. ;)

It didn't take long for our chatty technician to zoom in and confirm what I had expected since the moment I saw two lines on the home pregnancy test.  And I will never forget the look on my husband's face as he carefully studied the monitor and enchantedly announced, almost in disbelief, "It's a BOY!!"

Eric and I are one of few couples I know who have absolutely no trouble whatsoever deciding on baby names.  In fact, we have a list of several complete, first and middle names that we hope to use in the future (You say I'm anal; I say I'm prepared.  So let's just agree to disagree.).  Our first-born son will be "Howard Sidney," named after William Howard, my maternal, 82-year old grandfather, as well as my late uncle, Sidney Roger.  Unlike Eric's gargantuan family (if you know a Cave, just assume he or she is related to Eric), mine is remarkably small, and little Howie will be the first boy born on my mother's side in nearly 60 years!  We think he deserves a pretty special name to accompany that sort of birth order!

Our Howie will truly be privileged to carry on the name of his great-grandfather, who is the epitome of a self-made man.  Howard, my grandfather, was the third-born child of Homer and Sarah Carte.  Tragically, Homer was killed in a mining accident when my grandfather was just a few years old, and widowed Sarah, with a mere 2nd grade education, was left to raised five children on her own.  From what I glean of the stories he has shared, my grandpa's childhood was not an easy one.  Hard work was an expectation almost as soon as one could walk, and by 8th grade, Howard was forced to quit school in order to pursue employment.  At sixteen, he purchased a car and moved to the town in which he would meet his bride and raise his own children. He pumped gas, worked in the showroom of a car dealership, became a mechanic, and eventually owned his successful own auto-body business, evidence that there really is something to the pick-yourself-up-by-your-own-bootstraps philosophy.

Howard is the father of three children:  Marian (who died as an infant), Sidney (my late uncle), and Susan (my mother).  He is the devoted husband to Marjorie, to whom he will have been married 60 years on Valentine's Day 2013.  Howard is a Korean War vet and a cancer survivor.  A first-rate grandpa and magician, I have fond memories of sitting on his lap as a little one while he pulled quarters from behind my ears (still not sure exactly how that trick worked).  He makes the world's best scrambled eggs, and I've never known him not to have a stash of mints or Werther's Originals in his shirt pocket or nightstand.  He's a quick-witted man of few words whose patience runs deep.  I've never known my grandpa to lose his temper or raise his voice... unless, of course, he's running off the cats who dare to lighten their load in his backyard ;)  If our son is half the man my grandfather is, he will be nothing less than exceptional.

As I mentioned, our son's middle name, Sidney, will be in honor of my only uncle who died unexpectedly at the age of 44, when I was a Freshman in high school. It's hard to believe that in just a couple of years, I'll have lived longer without my uncle alive than with him.  As his first niece, I'd like to think that he and I had a special connection, and almost twelve years later, there isn't a day that passes that I don't think of him.  But thankfully, with time and faith, God has a way of transforming grief from something very raw and tender to something more scarred yet durable.  While the tears still occasionally flow, the majority of my thoughts of "Uncle Sid" center on his wild sense of humor, his playfulness.... and the Lunchables, mini Ball Park hotdogs, YooHoos, and essentially any other type of overpriced "kid food" he'd spoil us with ;)  In the summers, I looked forward to evenings spent at his apartment-- touring the garage of antique cars & "testing" the horns, drinking pop while watching forbidden shows like Married with Children and The Simpsons, and sitting in his lap while peering through a kaleidoscope whose home was a small end table next to my uncle's Lazy Boy recliner.  I still have that recliner, my so-called inheritance, and I can't imagine I'll ever part with it-- it accompanied me to my apartments at IU; returned to Columbus when I bought my first house; traveled to the basement to spruce up Eric's home office, which we lovingly refer to as the "Pit of Despair;" and is currently on loan, begrudgingly so, to my sister's dorm at Purdue (or "Pur-don't" as our daughter will learn to call it). ;)  Remember the old, duct-tapped chair from the TV show "Frazier?"  You get the idea.  That's my recliner.

Anyway, Uncle Sid never married or had children of his own.  I know how excited Eric is to bestow upon his son the Cave last name which Howie will carry into the next generation, and sadly, that's an opportunity my uncle never had.  So in choosing Sidney as a middle name, not only will my uncle's name live on, but more importantly, so will his memory.  I can't think of a more meaningful tribute, and I know my uncle will be pleased.... hopefully so much so that he'll sprinkle that some of that good sense of humor onto his great-nephew :)

So before you ask--yes, we know that "Howard" and "Sidney" don't exactly make the Top 10 (or even top 100)  list of most popular names in 2012.  We're ok with that.  And yes, we also know that Sidney is typically used as a girls name these days, and I've even read some articles that lump Howard into lists of "Terrible/You're Child Will Hate You Forever/Prepare for a Lifetime of Teasing & Torture" names like Rufus, Gaylord, and Kermit.  But there is something said for giving your child the gift of a legacy, even if connects more of an image of suspenders and white Reeboks than it does Mustang convertibles and The Bachelor.  And you have to admit-- "Howard Sidney" sounds a whole lot more like Presidential material than "Moxie Crimefighter" or "Snoop Dogg" (excuse me, "Snoop Lion"), don't you think? ;)